Silent Voices
by Symphonies in Sorrow
Summary: How can a leader play with feelings? How painful is the end? Sad, sad story: read and review, please!


**A/N**

_Hi guys! SyS is back... even though I am a little sick. Poor Lou. Who cares? For more info, go read my (former) bio. Now, you're here to read a story; and to review it. Well, JUST DO IT!_

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I perfectly remember that day... How can I forget it? That day, those twenty-four hours changed my life _so_ much... First, that day I killed my sister: Blackfire. Then, in that day, I begun to understand Robin's feeling. And then, in the same day, in a night with no stars, I crossed the Tower's door one last time, without looking back. I left the Titans without looking back, but knowing that Raven was crying, that Beast Boy was crying, that Cyborg was crying... and Rob? Wasn't there. But I'm sure he was looking me from a window; or he was closed in his room, still crying for me... and his sins. Poor Robin... but why should I feel compassion for him? After what he had done to me, the girl who always loved him from the very first moment? I'm trying to feel hate for him; I'm trying to forget him. I can't. I've spend five long years without seeing one of the Titans, far away from home. I've never returned to my planet; I've just moved from Jump City to Gotham City. Because I don't want to see any of them. I'm trying to forget them, mostly him, but I can't. It's just impossible.

That's why I'm writing this story. That's why Starfire, former Titans, is writing this story: to not forget. I've tried anything to forget it, but nothing worked. Probably because my mind just _doesn't_ want to forget. And then... I must admit it: I am thinking to suicide. I know it's just horrible... but I have a feeling this is the only choice left. And, if I'm gonna die, I want to leave something that will explain my death. I want you to know the truth. Some of you, maybe all those who love the Titans, for all our fans that loved us... you will not believe to my story. To these people: I can't lie. I simply can't lie to myself and neither to you. Star is here to tell you the truth. Then... good night, Star. Stop shining. The game is over, like Cyborg would say.

This is just the truth.

It was a rainy day, the sun was covered by dark clouds and the lightnings were scary to see. Especially for me. Me, Raven and Beast Boy were facing my sister, Blackfire. We were on the main street and the raindrops were falling upon our faces. Cyborg was groaning with pain: Blackfire hit him with one of his bolt; it perforated his shoulder. He was losing so much blood... I can't believe he's still alive.

Blackfire had joined Slade; she had killed six persons, just because Slade charged her to do it. And then because she was totally psycho. Robin was the first who tried to stop her. Bad idea. Blackfire captured him; right in that moment, she was holding Robin, one arm across his throat and a knife on the other hand. She had a hostage and we had nothing.

"So, Star... here we are. I have Robin and I want to escape. What'cha gonna do?"

I didn't know what to do. She was right: we had no way out. We had to let her escape... maybe with Rob. I was terribly in love with him (even though he didn't know that, until we arrived home) and I couldn't let her go with my...

My what? What was Robin for me? Honestly, I don't know. Was he my love? Was he the guy I loved more than my life? Was he _that _guy? Probably. But after Blackfire's death, he became another person. After her death he became a stranger.

She probably understood what I was feeling deep down inside myself. My doubts and my feelings. She did a mistake; that little, insignificant, mistake killed her... and the Titans: she begun to laugh.

Laughing, she left Robin for one second, _just for one second_; her shoulder, her chest weren't protected anymore by Robin's body. She did a mistake... and I could use it to beat her! I could use that mistake to stop her, to stop Slade, to free Robin... But she was my sister. What if I hit her too hard? What if I hit her too weak?

_Hit her! C'mon, hit her!_, said my mind, my inner instinct. But I couldn't.

_You must! Otherwise, she will kill more people... _

I don't care. She's my sister and I can't hurt her.

_You can't! She will kill more, she will help Slade! _

I still can't hurt my own sister and...

_Wake up, Star! She will get Robin or, even worse, _kill him_! _

Probably that last mental yell convinced me. That desperate, inhuman (alien?) scream convinced me to hit my own sister. Without thinking anymore, I started to form a bolt. The second after it was running towards Blackfire's chest. I didn't calculate the power: the bolt pierced her, right where her heart was. I remember everything, every particular of her death; I'm still dreaming it. The bolt that touches her skin; the bolt that pierces her flesh with a terrible noise, like some sort of _whrrapp_; the hole in her chest; the blood that begins to fall to the ground; then, more and more blood. I remember her surprised expression. Her eyes were saying: _This can't be..._

After that, everything looks like in slow-motion: my sister begins to fall on her knees; Robin is close to her, he's looking her eyes-wide open; Beast Boy, Raven and Cyborg are watching my sister's death; I am watching my sister's death. Then, her last words: _Why... did you save him? _

While saying those five words, she spilled blood from her mouth. Only five words: why did you save him? Nobody heard those words, except me. Why have I choose Robin instead of my sister? That time I had the answer: because I love him. Now I know what he had done to me. The answer is: I didn't know, sister. I didn't know.

She fell down, her face hit the ground with another horrible noise. I was standing in front of her corpse, my right hand still pointed at her... The moment after I was in my room. Raven (my dear friend, the only who really helped me; even if I'm gonna die, I want you to know that you're really the greatest friend I could have. Thank you, Raven) was sitting on a chair, beside my bed. She asked me how I was. And I begun to cry. Even if your sister is a mad psycho, she's still your sister. She caressed my head, trying to calm me down. And she told me that I've lost consciousness after... after Blackfire's death. Raven took me home while Beast Boy and Robin took Cyborg to the hospital.

"They called a minute ago. Cy's fine"

She was still hugging me, she was crying with me. God, have you ever seen a woman like Raven? She was... unique. I always knew that she loved Beast Boy but never confessed it... I hope she did it. She deserves pure love. Unlike me.

We cried for ten, fifteen minutes... I don't remember. Then, she asked me if I wanted to rest. The guys were coming home and some rest could be very useful. I thanked her and accepted her advice. I really needed to rest. She left my room, drying the tears off her face. I tried to rest for a little, but was impossible. Images were dancing in front of my eyes, like the blood, the hole... To rest was impossible. I turned on the stereo, with one of my favorite songs, trying to calm down, even just a little.

Now the story begins to become unbelievable. First of all, the song played randomly by my stereo was "No More Lies"... C'mon, everybody in this planet knows Iron Maiden. The song is in "Dance of Death" album and... well, read the lyrics and you will understand why the song, in that moment, was really strange. And the second unbelievable thing is that I've seen a ghost. The ghost of my sister.  
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_**Bruce Dickinson was singing his wonderful song and I was trying to follow the lyrics with a horrible childish voice (well, I'm not a singer...).I was looking out of the window. The sun was going down, the big red ball was going to disappear leaving space to the old yellow moon. I was looking outside... when I saw something reflexed in the mirror: Blackfire's face. I slowly turned my head and saw my dead sister standing in front of me. Now all of you are thinking that I am totally crazy. This is the worse part to believe. I've asked myself if I'm crazy or not. The answer is: yes, because I want to commit suicide; no, because that was _really_ my sister. Who cares if she died just a couple of hours ago? She was there... and she was crying.

She was looking me, perforating me with her horrible dead eyes. The hole in her chest was exactly the same I did. No blood, no noise. Just some silent tears... and a silent voice.

_How could you kill me? _

She seemed afraid of something. She looked terribly sorry. And those tears... Blackfire, I am sorry. While writing of our last meeting, I am crying. I can't see what I am writing, I cannot think to our discussion because your silent voice, which I hear every single night, is killing me. I am sorry, Blackfire, it's just my fault...

Now I feel a little better. I've rest for a little; I've cried for a little. I am sorry if the last lines look strange. For a second, I've lost control. I will try to write everything until the end. I promise.

As I said before, she looked sorry. I started to cry, too.

"I... am sorry, sister,"I said "but I had to stop you..."

_I know... but you really needed to kill me? _

Now I was crying and moaning. In that moment, I really looked like a little child. "I didn't want to kill you! You forced me..."

_Did I force you? No, sister... you've just choose: me or Robin._

I was just facing the last words of my dead sister. I've choose Robin. Was it the problem? Was it my crime? The whole mess was just a question of chooses?

"I haven't chose him... I was just trying to hit you without hurt you. I didn't..."

_Stop moaning, little Star. Stop crying like a pathetic child and listen to me..._

I was inducted by her tone to stop crying or moaning. She was talking to me with her mind, not moving her dead lips. And I paid attention. She talked for... an hour? Five minutes? More? Less? I don't know. And I don't remember any word she said. She told me the whole truth. The whole hurting truth. I couldn't believe her words. I tried to refuse the truth, I convinced myself that she was a liar... Then, she told me of the cloak.

_Why don't you ask him about the cloak? Why don't you ask him about the cloak you gave him last Christmas?_ She wasn't crying anymore. Blackfire was smiling. Then, she disappeared like a burst of wind. Like she'd never been there. At the beginning I didn't realized why she was smiling. Now, I think I've understand.

I left the room and didn't think to the cloak. To be honest, I didn't think to anything; I just wanted to believe that it was all a strange dream, a vision due to what had happened to me. Then, all happened during dinner. I remember that Beast Boy was still eating some tofu-pizza, when the cloak popped inside my mind. _Why shouldn't I ask him about that cloak?_ The answer was very simple: _Because that question will change your life_.

Don't ask me how I knew it. Call it "sensation".

"Rob..."

He looked me with a smile on his face. That moment I thought he was in love with me. Now I know that he was _acting_.

"Where's the cloak I gave you last Christmas?"

Have I said that he was smiling? After those four words he began to cry. Raven and the others were absolutely shocked. On the contrary, I was... sad. Because what my dead sister said was painfully true.

Sobbing and crying his false tears, he said that he used it... He said that he fell in love with Blackfire and she seemed to love him; they were in love and I didn't knew anything. They continued to meet secretly until one day...

Robin (or Blackfire? She said Robin but he said something else. At this point, who really cares?) had an idea: why couldn't they have a picnic? They did; they had their picnic... and then they had sex. Oh, but it wasn't intentional, oh no! He said that he was drunk. He said that they were totally drunk and...

"If you were drunk, why did you have sex upon my cloak and why did you use a condom?"I said. I didn't believe to any of his words. He was just playing with my feelings.

He didn't asked me how I knew the condom particular. He couldn't answer to the question. And I thought that there was nothing more to say. I just walked out the kitchen and went inside my room. I took every little thing I could carry on a bag and walked out the Tower. The Titans were calling me, Beast Boy was crying and saying "Don't go, Star! Please!". I couldn't, Beast Boy. I simply couldn't live with the man who played with me for all this time. And, as I said before, Robin wasn't there. I don't know where he was, and I don't really care. I've killed my sister, but he's killed me.

You have the whole story. Some of you can't still believe to it. Some of you are still convinced that I am lying. Some of you still can't believe that Robin, the Boy Wonder, did a horrible thing like this. At this point, I don't really care about your opinion; I don't know if my friends Titans will find these pages. If so, I love you friends. Nothing, neither death will take you away from my heart.

I have a knife here beside me. Right now, I don't have the courage to use it. I never liked blood. But I think I will found it. These are my last words: even though you've played with my feelings like with a doll... Robin, I love you. Goodbye.

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**A/N**

_The end! What a sad story, right? I've created a couple of things where Robin is just a piece of shit... maybe I'll publish them in the future. Pleez, review my little one-shot! Thanks for reading, see you soon!_

**SyS**


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